Flog - Fergie, Bob Marley and the angriest of all the kiwi fruit

If what the papers are saying is true regarding Everton fans’ prepared re-working of a Bob Marley classic into ‘No woman, no Kai’ then it is even more of a shame that Wayne Rooney did not take to the Goodison pitch on Saturday. That sort of wit rarely has the opportunity to rear its head in football. Fergie has denied us.
The fact that there potentially could have been thirty odd thousand Evertonians directing these lyrics at the striker makes a mockery of those who are bemoaning Rooney and his personal life’s status as genuine news. The snob in me agrees- there are far more important people in the world who are doing the same, and certainly worse- but the football fan in me knows that if it was my team playing Manchester United next, I would have joined in had a chorus started. For one it makes a nice change from ‘your support is fucking shit’, though that too makes it into my top 5, but mainly because it is quite simply brilliant.
Fergie’s decision to leave him out of the squad was not so brilliant, reasoning that the hot reception would be a ‘nightmare’... well has he not met Rooney? He has thrived on it his whole career and it would appear almost scientific fact that he plays better when being goaded from the stands, turning him into a raging bull with an angry kiwi fruit for a head. As a still relatively volatile youngster he had returned to Everton and excelled both in physical and mental strength and it seems the animosity between the two parties has even cooled in recent years. Surely a bit of ribbing, which even England tea-mate Phil Jagielka said he expected and might ‘give a bit’ of himself, though definitely more hostile than he might have got at, say, Fulham or West Brom, would have brought the best out of him as it always has done.
In fairness the result was somewhat of a freak after being 3-1 up on ninety minutes and then completely collapsing. The mentality of their defence was staggering; by the end they were defending so deep Johnny Evans got the bends, but you still might not bet against them going another decade without letting a two goal lead slip. That’s not saying it wasn’t deserved by Everton, but for long spells United didn’t miss Rooney, though it would be stupid not to question whether the game would have been put to bed had he been on the field. Fergie is no stranger to his players being the subject of hate mobs- recent history suggests he has managed some of the most talented yet controversial figures in the game- but it is the first time he has deemed the pressure too much. Beckham and Ronaldo in their times of strife held equal value to United as Rooney does right now.
Even more of a worry for United’s fanbase is that Fergie claimed to be able to call on such a ‘fantastic squad’ in this sort of situation. Though it cannot be denied it is better than most, it is not one of his best, and it certainly isn’t ‘fantastic’. The days of Beckham, Keane, Scholes and Giggs were fantastic, as were the more recent Rooney, Ronaldo and Tevez, and to refer his current crop in this manner suggests a rare yet very possible lack of judgement. Something about this United team doesn’t instil the same fear as those in the past. The intensity is not there, it all seems laboured when it was once full of pace and power. Industry has replaced entertainment, and though it can wield the same results, in short United look beatable. And now I’ve said that, watch them go and win the bloody Premiership.