Flog - The real shame is for the Wigan fans. Both of them.

So you found the World Cup boring, did you? Not enough action, huh buddy? Lack of goals a problem, was it? Was it? Well shove the start of the Premiership right up your girthworm then. BAM. Four-nil. BAM. Six-nil. A flukey weekend? Well then BAM, BAM and BAM, three six-nils in two days. In Chelsea’s opening two games they have managed twelve goals. Twelve. Count them. Twelve. It took the World Cup eight games via sixteen teams to reach that total, and was racked up with the third of four Germany had smashed past Australia. The gulf in class in that game was the reason for the gulf in score line; which is exactly what is happening in the Premiership.
Okay, so three of the high-scoring results have been in favour of members of the ‘big four’, a term even less credible than ever with Liverpool’s drop in fortunes, and one was against Blackpool, the sixth best team in the second tier of English football last year and who have Wonga.com as their shirt sponsors. Having said that, Blackpool were the first to dish out a thrashing this season, and one of the six-nil club is also newly-promoted Newcastle, beaten 3-0 in their first game, who beat managerless Premiership ever-presents Aston Villa, who won 3-0 on the opening day. Lost? Good. Because I am. I’m sure there was a point to all of this but I’m distracted by all the crying goalkeepers.
And has anyone else picked up on the fact that all these goals have been scored using a regular, normal weighted football? FIFA: genius.
My point, whatever state it is in at the moment, probably involved Wigan. I like Roberto Martinez, but it’s telling that one of the main reasons I admire him is because of the brave face(s) he has put on in the wake of some awful defeats. The 9-1 annihilation away at Spurs last season could have been considered a little freakish if it wasn’t for some of the comedy defending his team has shown since. Titus Bramble leaving in the summer seems to have weakened them beyond repair, and you can make your own Bramble-related punchline up about that. The bare facts of Wigan’s season so far state that they were beaten 4-0 by a team that was beaten 6-0 the next week. Gulf in class or not, how bad are Wigan going to be looking come May?
As for Blackpool, I do hope their opening day romp isn’t the best it will get. I neither like nor dislike them to be honest, but the whole of the media seem intent on patronising them, thinking it’s fine as long as they call it all the ‘tangerine dream’ and show the fans having a good time, which they are, but come the long winter and everyone’s orange replica shirts are covered up by black and grey coats it might not look as bright and cheery. ‘Look everyone, it’s the BBC’s Kevin Day coming along for your coach ride to Arsenal! Sing you orange bastards!’ If Blackpool weren’t associated so heavily with the colour, I’d predict mass suicides in the town. The tower would do great business.
I also feel sorry for Ian Holloway, who every week is expected to fulfil his clown duties for the amusement of serial wanker Dan Walker and his chums on Football Focus. Yes, he is prone to the odd mentally-challenged remark, and he is responsible for one of the greatest ever football quotes (‘not the best looking bird but you got her in the taxi’), but he is trying to prove himself in the Premier League, which is probably a damn sight easier when Walker et al aren’t grinning at you throughout an interview and waiting for you to go off on a tangent.
Or should that be a tangerine tangent?