Flog - The Smiths + Hull City = SAD FACE.

Some news stories from the world of football that you may have missed this week:

Dimitar Berbatov sued by The Smiths

Manchester United striker Dimitar Berbatov is soon to be stripped of his melancholic personality should a lawsuit led by 1980’s band The Smiths succeed. The dispute came to light after lead singer Morrissey, 50, laid claim to the downcast emotion’s image rights and it is thought he has consulted legal aid in order to stop the Bulgarian feeling it altogether. Berbatov has repeatedly been shown sulking, whinging and moaning in recent months as his United career continues to stall.
‘All we want is to have what is rightfully ours,’ Morrissey told the Daily Mail. He confirmed; ‘That might mean taking Dimitar to court, yes’. When asked what time frame is to be expected over the decision, it is reported that he simply said ‘now’ and that he ‘had already waited too long’.
The move is likely to spark a flurry of similar claims throughout football. Within hours of the story breaking last night, rumours that emerged ranged from Tory peers suing Brian Laws over ridiculous promotions to Holby City taking Blackburn Rovers to court over the sense of boredom. ‘It’s nonsense,’ Laws told Sky Sports News, ‘I completely deserve to be in the position I am, as do Burnley Football Club.’

Dowie: The Football Management Consultant

Interim Hull City coach Ian Dowie has revealed he has considered taking managing roles that are longer than ten games. The former defender has now coached 4 different clubs in the Premier League, all with disastrous results, and Dowie has wanted to put the record straight with each relegation. After leading Crystal Palace to promotion, Dowie saw them immediately return to the Championship and since then he has overseen Charlton Athletic, Newcastle United and now Hull City fall from the top division.
‘I don’t think I’ve been given a long enough chance at any club,’ said Dowie. ‘Clubs that are in crisis repeatedly, somewhat inexplicably, turn to me to help them out. Four clubs have been relegated with me at the helm for some period of the season- that says a lot for my credentials.’
Hull City’s relegation is all but confirmed with, amongst other factors, their awful and unassailable goal difference condemning them to the Championship. ‘We are happy for Dowie to continue- we would be doing the world of football a huge favour by keeping him in the club’ said their Chairman, Adam Pearson.