And the crowd sang: 'Same old Terry, always cheating'.

He’s not the England captain, he’s a very naughty boy.
That opening line is so bad it made me cringe when I thought of it on the train this morning. However, nothing can compare to just how bad John Terry has been, so I could have pretty much opened this edition of Flog with a picture of me drowning some kittens- really cute kittens as well- and still the outrage would be considered minimal by comparison.
Not that it’s unwarranted, of course. John Terry has been, for lack of a better term, a cunt. It’s not often I use that word- that’s only the second time this hour- but it seems to fit the current England captain right now.
The woman in question, Portugala Manyboobs or something, is now selling her story because of the gross amount of ‘things being said that simply aren’t true’. That, and the massive amount of cash Max Clifford has promised her. For some reason she is being treated as some sort of victim in all of this, mainly because of the apparent abortion Terry organised. Terrible, maybe. But it’s not rocket science as to why you may have required one in the first place, you tool.
I’ve never been the biggest Wayne Bridge fan in a football respect. But as far as I am aware, he is a human. Don’t let the rubbery Keown-esque murder face fool you, there’s a soul in there. Right now it’s being tortured because of someone he considered not just a team mate but a friend betrayed his trust, and rightly he has confirmed there will be no statements or press conferences in the near future regarding the matter for the benefit of his young son.
Bridge’s other decision holds more professional ramifications. Should he choose to end his international career, he would finish on 36 caps and spent the entirety of it as understudy to Ashley Cole, another great moral ambassador. It would be an England career unremarkable except for the way in which it ended, and that could well yet be the saddest blow Terry has dealt him.
Not that the personal effects are any less painful, but at the end of the day, they are footballers, and footballers who can never play on the same team ever again. Bridge has already stated this in private. Even if he hadn’t I’d be questioning the manager who actually chooses to put them together on a team sheet now.
That is the problem for Fabio Capello. Right there. England have 4 people to realistically rely on to win the World Cup. Rooney, Gerrard, Lampard and Terry. All of which, if fit and playing to their full ability, could bring the trophy back to England. They are the spine, the core of the team both on and off it. For Capello to take a full stand against Terry’s personal conduct, he would not only have to relinquish Terry of his captain’s duties but that of his playing ones as well. That’s the World Cup over with, and I’m not exaggerating. Let us not forget how much Rio Ferdinand is struggling, too.
So the only thing left to do is to strip Terry of the captaincy and let Bridge retire from the international scene. Obviously Capello could not force his hand, but he couldn’t exactly call him up to the squad while Terry was a part of the set up. England’s best defender versus England’s second choice left back. In the football world, it’s not even a question.
So that’s Bridge’s personal and professional life now entirely in the balance. Well done JT, you’re an advert for the English game. I wont deny that England needs you the player on that plane to South Africa, but if you could leave your astronomically foolish personality back in the gutter where it belongs, that’d be great. Captain’s armband or not, should you lift the World Cup this summer as an England player, there will be one Englishman sat at home watching you not wondering if it could have been him out there, but knowing it would have been.

I would say rant over, but it’s not. Because this will have even more knock on effects. England now (surely) finds itself without a captain- at least without a proper one- so who is going to lead us out in South Africa? Ferdinand isn’t fit and is a dunce. Gerrard has never replicated his Liverpool form in an England shirt, an opinion which can be considered somewhat unfair seeing as his performances for the Reds particularly two or three years ago were nothing short of super hero standard, but the facts speak for themselves. Rooney simply cannot be given the armband because it would encourage him to be the all rounder we love seeing when we’re 1-0 up, but not so much when we need a striker standing up front to bang in the goals when we need them. So, despite my past hatred of the man, it has to go to Lampard. He has been phenomenal for Chelsea for pretty much his entire career there, and his England performances have been understated since Capello took over. He's a senior member of the team and is mentally tough enough to take on the role so close to the tournament and be successful.
That, and it might be nice to have it go to one of Terry’s team mates. Oh the betrayal, eh John?