Flog - Yay Rooney. Boo Dowd. OMFG Terry and Bridge. Lulz.

Blimey; this Rooney fellow might just be the best on the planet at the moment. For a few months now, I have been waiting for something to halt the superb run of form he’s been in- either an injury or a dry spell, or even a throwback to his petulant days of ref-barracking or vengeful tackles. Understand I wasn’t hoping for this in any way- as an England fan it’s the best I could have hoped for. Our best player is in the form of his life and effectively carrying a team at the moment.
Which, lets face it, is what he is likely to be doing in South Africa. His talismanic displays for United have kept them in the hunt for a third successive title after everybody assumed they would crumble after the departure of Ronaldo. They may not carry the same threat as they did last season, but they certainly still have a player who the opposition can do little else but fear. By no means was Rooney not one of those players last season, but Ronaldo was consistently brilliant in every game.
I saw Rooney play in the flesh for the first time when United played Spurs early in the season. When Paul Scholes got sent off, Rooney became like their 11th man. He worked double shifts and ran Vedran Corluka ragged for a whole half an hour before finally scoring the killer third goal. I’ve never seen, before or since, a better individual performance on a football field. He was immense, the bastard.
And he will have to continue that when the World Cup comes around. England have the same sort of balance as United do, especially in midfield; pace on the right, industry on the left, solidity in the middle. Ronaldo was the explosive attacker who made the difference- England don’t (and maybe never did) have that. United seemed to have made do with Rooney, and so will we.
I write all this after watching the Carling Cup Final- or if you were to believe the showcase Wembley put on the ‘Most Important Thing in the World Ever Including Jets of Fire and Loud NOISES NOISES NOISES’ Cup Final. It was a better final than most I have seen at Wembley, where most line up simply not to lose. Fergie started with Berbatov and Owen, a selection vindicated as the later finished well after good work from the former. Owen went off injured, a topic of choice for most interviewers after the game, who seem to be revelling in the soap operas surrounding any England player at the moment, whether it be personal or professional as in the case of Owen.
But really the day belongs to Rooney, who scored as perfect a header as you will ever see.
Although it could have been totally different. Scratch that- should have been totally different. For a long time now, Phil Dowd has been one of the poorest referees in the game. His ineptitude isn’t helped by his dismissive attitude towards player’s usually legitimate appeals. It’s like he enjoys being rubbish. Not fit to referee, to steal a quote from Fergie.
I refer, of course, to the third minute challenge which led to the opening goal from the penalty spot. Vidic pulls down Agbonlahor in the box, with nobody else around, with the Villa front man through on goal. Definite penalty? Yes. Definite clear goal-scoring opportunity? Yes. Sending off? Yes. Or if you are Phil Dowd, no.
Vidic stayed on the pitch, and despite Milner converting the kick, Villa had a right to feel very aggrieved. Not least as the next two bookings went to their players. After that, Dowd was constantly playing catch up to try and get some sort of even playing field in which to go into half time with. A complete undermining of the match and the game itself.
Why no sending off? Too early in the game, a penalty was sufficient punishment, it was Manchester United in a cup final, Vidic could floor Dowd with his finger? All good points.
Unlucky Villa.

So then. Wayne Bridge. Did you see? My God. It was, like, so cool! John Terry, the ex-England captain, put his hand out, like, to shake hands with the Man City team, who- would you believe it- Wayne Bridge PLAYS for, and, when his turn came up, Bridge TOTALLY WALKED PAST TERRY. Lulz! Seriously- it was an orgasmic moment of awkwardness. Sky reserved themselves to waiting until half time to reshow the ‘incident’, this time from many angles. Damn, YouTube has it in slow motion. Has there ever been so much coverage for a non-event? I didn’t shake hands with anyone last week. Where are my YouTube hits? You bastards. Film my life immediately.

Not a funny one, this edition. Sorry. One point of humour: I’m fairly sure there was an extra two men brought in to carry Tom Huddlestone off on the stretcher in the Spurs v Everton game. Ha bloody ha.