Sometimes I wonder if the entire world is going completely mad. Especially the football world, for it seems Sky Sports’ gross monopoly on sport and indeed our lives has grown to new levels. Levels we can’t imagine. Geoff Horsefield’s underpants sort of levels.
On Christmas Eve as I sat in the pub with friends, darting around like karate kid to avoid the thousands of elbows that were a’swinging near my face in the scrum at the bar. On the television was, of course, Sky Sports News. It’s easy to stick that on. If the sound is off (it was) then you can read the really interesting statistics that scroll around Simon Thomas’ face (I didn’t). It’s simple, it’s safe. It being on in the background means when conversation goes silent you can divert your attention to the screen without getting fully engrossed in it. Brilliant. Until you realise what the hell they’re on about.
I don’t know if you saw it, but the feature of the evening involved the presumably bored and under worked reporters going around the grounds and asking what Christmas entailed for the likes of Sam Allardyce, Harry Redknapp, Eddie Johnson (yeah, him!) and many more. Not that they needed to travel the length and breadth of the country, seeing as they all gave exactly the same answer.
‘Probably just wake up, come into training, do some light work, then go home, spend time with the family, eat the dinner, sleep [insert chuckle here] then spend the night in front of the telly or on the coach to the away game’.
Insightful. Honestly, if I hadn’t been told what Allardyce was doing on 25th December, I wouldn’t have been able to sleep, open presents, eat my dinner, nothing. At all. Thank you, Sky Sports News. You’ve got a monkey off my back by boring it to death.
But oh, they’re not finished.
As if the excitement of their Christmas Eve offerings were not enough, they also had Christmas Day covered too. I couldn’t make out what time they stated (I’d fainted with dreariness) but sometime in the morning, they were sending poor cameramen out to film Tottenham training. Training, correct.
Would it be cynical to say nobody wanted the morning shift on Sky Sports News? And to say it was somewhat a TIME FILLER UNTIL SOMEONE FANCIED GETTING TO THE STUDIO? Oops, that last bit was put in capitals by accident. Actually, fuck it, I’ll keep it to enhance the bellowing factor.
Who in their right mind wants to watch Tottenham training, and for that matter any other team? As if we would be watching the Fulham vs. Tottenham game the day after and judging every set piece against how they practiced it at Spurs lodge. This is a frightening vision, truth be told, of where the Club channels (MUTV, RangersTV etc) are heading. Hours and hours of football. Next year; round the clock coverage of Sam Allardyce asleep after his Christmas dinner. You’ll watch. As will I.
27 December 2009
5 December 2009
Flog - Please Please Me
Something peculiar happened to me after watching Man City vs. Chelsea. I was pleased. I actually smiled at several intervals during the game. The required muscles in my face have not been used since 2003. They ached. They burned.
You see, I was so pleased to see a great advert for English football. It was a proper Premiership game- goals, blood and guts tackling and controversy.
But overall I think I was pleased with Chelsea. No, really.
I was pleased to see that despite the fines and player bans UEFA imposed on the club after their behaviour in the wake of being knocked out of the Champions League by Barcelona, they are sticking to their guns and abusing the referee whenever possible. I was pleased that, collectively, they made a mockery of the ideal of growing old gracefully. Pleased to see that of the 32 nations that will be at the World Cup next year, nine of their starting XI against City (and both of the substitutes used) will represent their country; of those nine, four were booked for persistent or malicious fouling (two others found their way into the book as well, therefore incurring another fine from the FA). Another had their mouth wrapped around Howard Webb’s ear so tight all game that you could accuse them of public indecency. It was also pleasing that the same player went down under no challenge whatsoever and brought on an entire team of physios, returning to the action within seconds of ‘treatment’. He must have missed Webb’s soft skin. It was pleasing to see that England’s first choice left back has learnt from past discrepancies and now pays complete attention to the referee when getting booked. Ashley Cole’s conduct during the game was, as ever, petulant at best and the repeat of his mini ego-protest at Tottenham two years ago will probably go unpunished again. Which will please me, of course.
Finally, it was pleasing to see that when Chelsea are on the back foot, they can always resort to violent tackles to quench their annoyance. Deco’s lunge was sadly only a close second to Julio Belletti’s mile long slide tackle on Wayne Bridge’s shin. A 50-50 ball, maybe, but 100% malevolent. Bridge left the field on a stretcher. Undeterred, Belletti spent the rest of the game attempting to get himself that elusive second yellow with a glory-covered mixture of dissent and over zealous challenges. Forgive the sarcasm, but all in all I wasn’t happy with Chelsea during the game.
Their actions afterwards, however, changed my perception slightly. Despite an at times tempered game, one which entertained a sometimes competitively hostile crowd and meant masses to both the Red and Blue sides of Manchester, the players after the game embraced and congratulated each other. Frank Lampard applauded the travelling fans and held his hands up apologetically for failing to convert a penalty in the 83rd minute which would have levelled the game. The home crowd commended the efforts of both sides while still heartily celebrating City’s first win over Chelsea for eight games. John Terry, obviously in some pain after battling hard throughout the game and who limped off late, stood up to observe the last ditch sequence of corners Chelsea had in the closing moments. If his lion heart tendencies follow him to the World Cup with as much vigour, I will be a happy England fan.
All of which added up to a very good game of football. Not even ESPN (Every Stupid Pundit Necessary) couldn’t ruin it. Can we consider it a turning point in the season? Pfft. Please.
You see, I was so pleased to see a great advert for English football. It was a proper Premiership game- goals, blood and guts tackling and controversy.
But overall I think I was pleased with Chelsea. No, really.
I was pleased to see that despite the fines and player bans UEFA imposed on the club after their behaviour in the wake of being knocked out of the Champions League by Barcelona, they are sticking to their guns and abusing the referee whenever possible. I was pleased that, collectively, they made a mockery of the ideal of growing old gracefully. Pleased to see that of the 32 nations that will be at the World Cup next year, nine of their starting XI against City (and both of the substitutes used) will represent their country; of those nine, four were booked for persistent or malicious fouling (two others found their way into the book as well, therefore incurring another fine from the FA). Another had their mouth wrapped around Howard Webb’s ear so tight all game that you could accuse them of public indecency. It was also pleasing that the same player went down under no challenge whatsoever and brought on an entire team of physios, returning to the action within seconds of ‘treatment’. He must have missed Webb’s soft skin. It was pleasing to see that England’s first choice left back has learnt from past discrepancies and now pays complete attention to the referee when getting booked. Ashley Cole’s conduct during the game was, as ever, petulant at best and the repeat of his mini ego-protest at Tottenham two years ago will probably go unpunished again. Which will please me, of course.
Finally, it was pleasing to see that when Chelsea are on the back foot, they can always resort to violent tackles to quench their annoyance. Deco’s lunge was sadly only a close second to Julio Belletti’s mile long slide tackle on Wayne Bridge’s shin. A 50-50 ball, maybe, but 100% malevolent. Bridge left the field on a stretcher. Undeterred, Belletti spent the rest of the game attempting to get himself that elusive second yellow with a glory-covered mixture of dissent and over zealous challenges. Forgive the sarcasm, but all in all I wasn’t happy with Chelsea during the game.
Their actions afterwards, however, changed my perception slightly. Despite an at times tempered game, one which entertained a sometimes competitively hostile crowd and meant masses to both the Red and Blue sides of Manchester, the players after the game embraced and congratulated each other. Frank Lampard applauded the travelling fans and held his hands up apologetically for failing to convert a penalty in the 83rd minute which would have levelled the game. The home crowd commended the efforts of both sides while still heartily celebrating City’s first win over Chelsea for eight games. John Terry, obviously in some pain after battling hard throughout the game and who limped off late, stood up to observe the last ditch sequence of corners Chelsea had in the closing moments. If his lion heart tendencies follow him to the World Cup with as much vigour, I will be a happy England fan.
All of which added up to a very good game of football. Not even ESPN (Every Stupid Pundit Necessary) couldn’t ruin it. Can we consider it a turning point in the season? Pfft. Please.
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