Flog - Crazy cousin Hockey

SCANDAL!
Football is like the older brother of rugby. It’s popular to the extent rugby wants to be. It’s minted beyond rugby’s wildest dreams. Football is going out with the pop star girlfriend while rugby gets a sensible Royal on it’s arm to take to family parties, in which there estranged cousin Hockey usually makes a tit out of itself. Football can never let rugby steal the limelight, even for a second.
After Bloodgate- annoyingly now a phrase the media does not feel needs inverted commas around it- football needed something to take back centre stage, even if it was a stage surrounded by controversy and shame.
So first came Eduardo and his dive- not simulation, not getting out of the way of a challenge, his DIVE- which has been widely debated not only for the ramifications of UEFA’s subsequent ban but also the fact that Arsene Wenger actually saw the incident. In well over a decade of English football, Wenger has only had his eyes open for about 50 seconds collectively and it seems 8 of those were spent watching Eduardo cheat. Not to be deterred though, Wenger said he didn’t think it was cheating. Brilliant- after waiting the best part of 15 years for him to watch a game with his eyes open, eventually it turns out he has cataracts.
Then came Chelsea and the signings fiasco. My, my, the governors that control this football world have been busy, haven’t they? They couldn’t have rugby enjoying the back pages for too long, could they?
FIFA would be naïve to think that Chelsea are the only club to which the finger of blame can pointed, which is exactly why we should fear their half-hearted investigations into other dodgy transfers because this not only puts them in the firing line, it also gives Chelsea one more reason to think football owes them a favour. Hopefully Abramovic will get so upset at all these gosh darn rules and regulations in the legal world of football that he will take the club to Jupiter to form their own league in the gas clouds, which is where Abramovic seems to have stuck his head for a few years now.
Although the appeal is likely to reduce the transfer ban, Chelsea are losing legs to stand on. Back in 2005, they were ordered to pay £18million pounds for Jon Obi Mikel- £16m of which to United- which must have left an even more sour taste in the mouth when they realised just what a pile of crap they had bought. In a world where the normal folk live, this would have triggered a period of laying low on the transfer front, making sure every deal was dealt with painstakingly thoroughness at every stage. This lasted for precisely 34 seconds at Stamford Bridge, as we then had the whole Ashley Cole/nearly crashing his car at his contract offer situation, which not only made us start questioning Chelsea’s means of conducting themselves, it also made us question the need for brakes for footballers who drive Land Rovers.
Then there was Frank Arnesen. Does the list intend on getting bigger? Only a rushed and weak FIFA dossier will reveal.
I’m about ready to move in with crazy cousin Hockey.