Flog - Nobody is called Gareth nowadays

So there we were, crying in a ball over another football season coming and passing, dreading a summer filled with half-hearted enthusiasm for cricket and watching mothers throughout England gripping hold of ‘Murray Mania’. Of course, that was until Manchester City opened the treasure chest.
So, the Sheikher Maker has given his vote of confidence to Mark Hughes and has asked him to build them a team of teams. Ideally, Hughes wants a mix of fresh talent and Premiership experience, a recipe for success in any league. Given, Bridge, Lescott, Toure, Richards, Barry, Ireland, De Jong, Robinho, Tevez, Eto’o. It’s the kind of team that an avid FIFA player would dream of, let alone a manager who this time last year had taken Blackburn- a club equivalent of Poundland- to another top half finish.
However, this is exactly it- a dream.
Who can honestly see Tevez swapping the red of United for the sky blue of their fiercest rivals? United have messed him about a bit but in reality the little grubby man from Argentina just wouldn’t do it to the fans. Then again, staying in Manchester might be the best thing for him if he wants to steer clear of the Old Trafford faithful.
Would Eto’o willingly leave Barcelona- possibly the most awe inspiring team in the world right now (sorry Bradford) for a team nowhere near guaranteeing Champions League football? Under the new coach he has his place back and is scoring for fun in a team that boasts some of the best players in the world. Man City boast Wayne Bridge.
Would Lescott leave a consistently improving Everton side which has taken him from Championship football to the England squad? David Moyes would be silly to turn down a large offer, but you can buy someone a lot better than Lescott for the money City are prepared to pay.
And Barry. Gary Barry. Don’t deny it. You’re not called Gareth. Who in this day and age is called Gareth? Come on. You’re Gary Barry and that’s the end of it. You’re Gary Barry and you left 6th place Aston Villa for 10th place Man City. ‘Ambition’ is a ridiculous word to use. The grip the ‘top four’ have on the Premiership will take a lot more than £200 million pounds to relinquish and a hell of a lot more than the most left footed player in history playing for them.
Aston Villa must be laughing- they planned all last summer for a team without Gary Barry- and then suddenly he stayed. An added bonus. Now, they have offloaded him to a team below them, for £12 million, and have a decent enough squad to survive without him. £12m buys you a very decent defender nowadays and that is exactly what they are looking for what with Martin Laursen being forced into retirement.
Say what you want about City… That’s it, there’s nothing to add on there. I’m asking you to say what you want about City.

Other news includes another win for England as they keep their 100% qualifying record intact. In all honesty, it was a drawn out result against a team who are about as European as an Eskimo eating Chinese food. Nobody had a particularly outstanding game, except for perhaps Frank Lampard, who is excelling in the new role Capello has given him. England are finally playing a style of football they can relate to- tough, physical and overall extremely painful to watch. It’s tough to get enthusiastic for International games now, in that there’s still a sense of the team paying the fans back for the debacle of Euro 2008 qualification. Nothing short of 100% is good enough now. It never was, but seemingly it got us to the quarter finals of, well, everything, and we were unhappily settling for it. Now Capello needs to make sure England are ready for arguably the best team in the World, Spain, if we are to get any success at all next summer.

This was written whilst hungover, and I am delighted with the spelling.