Flog - Match of the Day (quicker, QUICKER!)

Yeah. So. Possibly one of the most interesting weekends of football. What with the moving tributes to those who lost their lives at Hillsborough 20 years ago this week, plus the relative irrelevance of football matches coinciding, you would expect coverage to be at a maximum.
The day started with Football Focus, (which every single day should by law) with what looked like the BBC’s work experience kid outside Anfield, talking to the increasingly balloon-like Mark Lawrenson. Tributes, archive footage and summations of that day flooded our screens. To take absolutely nothing away from the anniversary, it was best to get these out of the way. For one, Anfield awaited Blackburn’s visit with emotional anticipation.
As it was, the football did most of the talking this weekend. In fact, I don’t think I have ever been so enthralled by games I was not even watching. Bolton’s fight back against Chelsea was brilliant stuff, especially after everybody mocked Paul Merson for claiming ‘they’re back in it Jeff!’ of Bolton when they scored their first of three. Merson is a dunce but he does add drama well.
Le Tissier got Wigan vs. Arsenal, and added his usual quota (i.e. nothing) to the game’s analysis. No matter what the score is in the game he is assigned, you know he has the Southampton game on instead and is reading the BBC Live Text page to report back to Jeff. As it went, Wigan were harshly done by in the way Arsenal weren’t, with Kieran Gibbs practically showered and dressed before realising the referee only gave him a yellow. Steve Bruce was furious. He looked like an angry grandma.
Manchester United won (again) with a late goal (again) from a substitute (again) called ‘Kiko’ Marcheda (aaaaagain). How much he knew about it, nobody really knows or cares, but he still celebrated like a dick. United still have that same edge over anyone else in the league- the fact that they can dig a result out of nothing. They’re still rocking though.
Portsmouth vs. West Brom would be, so I thought, about as interesting as the first three words of this sentence suggests. But it turned into a great game between two scrappy sides (sorry Baggies, but no matter what you think, you don’t play ‘pretty football’. You have Danny Shittu in your side for God’s sake). Also, Kranjcar would get the vote for goal of the week, if it wasn’t for Torres’ first against Rovers.
Adding to that, Spurs beat West Ham at home, Middlesbrough beat Hull to ease- if not totally forget- their relegation troubles for a week at least and Newcastle lost the first half and won the second against Stoke, a team who play like how Iain Dowie looks, to give themselves some hope too.
So, all in all, a great reason to stay in and watch Match of the Day, surely? Not only great entertainment, but also the added spice of guessing who would fill Gary Linekar’s golf shoes for presenting the show? Would the beeb play safe and put in Ray Stubbs? Did they think work experience was ready? What about that Jake kid, from the thing about fast cars and cheating that goes on for 4 hours for no real reason?
As it goes, they went for Stubbs, who should have been more warmed up to the job having presented the credibly structured if a little slow-paced Score around 6 hours before. The only reason I could give for his docile performance, however, was having to deal with an irate Garth Crooks all day, which must be like dealing with a bored 5 year old Jim Carrey on crack while having no arms and a migraine.
I think my viewing pleasure was also ruined by John Motson, who is increasingly becoming a parody of himself. He is slowly running out of absurd things to scream high pitched about so he just gets louder and acts more surprised. It’s surely time to hang up the sheepskin, eh John? And take David Pleat with you please.
So anyway, Match of the Day felt distinctly rushed this week. They’re even starting to call it MOTD on occasions. How are the BBC getting it so wrong at the moment? Their coverage is usually impeccable. The only explanation I can think of is that they’ve lost the will to go on after discovering ITV have an extra year of the FA Cup on their network despite providing the worst coverage of any sporting occasion, ever. And if I were Ray Stubbs, I would rather look after Garth Crooks than sit through another ITV cup ‘special’.

What’s next week? United vs. Everton. On ITV. Christ. Pass the Garth.